The Maltese Parrot

Another bitter morning sun shakes me out of my restless slumber. Did I dream, or was it just an after-image of the last scumbag I put down? I ruffle the cigarette ash out of my feathers and hop onto the bar for a nip of the morning brew. Haku is looking at me like the Ghast of Solstice Past. He doesn't know where I go at night and I ain't squawkin'.
A quick bath at the stables, the water tepid and foul, and I am back up in the rafters where I do my best thinking.

Yesterday’s summons from Drusilla to look into a mysterious rabbit death had left me stumped. Definitely not natural causes, since when did nature stuff rotten acorns into a corpse? The carcass was cold by the time I got to it, already crawling with the 6-legged demolition crew. I managed to save a few fibres but they could be the hair of any brown beast, maybe the Ogre could identify them but I didn’t think I needed to call him in just yet.
On the way back to town I had paid a visit to the Mad Badger, gods rest his soul, but he wasn’t talking. Some creative beakwork later and the 3-pawed bastard spilled the beans. Turns out some local bigshot calling himself Nutsy ordered the hit. He might have given me more but that’s when the sky fell on us, flashing shades of brown and grey hitting us from every side. I got a clear look at the one I gutted before making my escape, a damn squirrel!

Customers are coming in, the noise rising up like foul dust in the summer. Time to pay the dizzy druid another visit with what I’ve learned, see if I can shake loose any more info from that leafy head of hers. I make quick time to the forest, yellows dappled across the once verdant green, the autumn cancer. Funny, I didn’t think of it like this only last year, but then a lot of things have changed since then.

“Turns out our rabbit-killer is a squirrel by the name of Nutsy.” I keep a close eye on her face and see the flicker of self-doubt, she knows something.
“Oh no... oh no… Why would he do such a thing?” She shook her head and I waited for her to continue. “Nutsy was one of my forest friends. I blessed him after I had such success with you. I was hoping for a companion to help me watch over the forest.” I grimace at the reminder of my origins, that strange awakening of self awareness still haunts me to this day. "He's such a good little thing..." She's mumbling to herself.
“So when did he start murdering bunnies?”, I don’t have all day and the dame needs to remember who she’s talking to.
“At first it was fine, he wasn't as smart as you, but he loved to spend his days beside me tending the forest’s needs. But then he started disappearing, at first only for a few hours here and there. Then it was days at a time, and then one day he just vanished. I had hoped he met a lady squirrel friend and found happiness elsewhere.” She sounded uncertain, like she wanted to convince herself more than me.
“When did you last see Nutsy?”
“A week ago. When I moved on from the Oaks, I thought maybe he had stayed there to live with the other squirrels.” She said. “Well that’s where I’ll start looking. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”
“Do try to bring him back, I’m sure it was just a mistake…” She trailed off, the saddest glimmer of hope fading in her eyes as I flew away.

The sun is burning down overhead, my shadow, a dark clone of my form, plays across the canopy as it flashes past below. I make good time to the Oak copse the druid mentioned. Gnarled, moss growing across their boughs like the creeping plague, I hate trees. I spot a sturdy-looking branch and rest lightly. I Open my beltpouch, a gift from that darling Talisa, and put a nice dry cigarette into my beak. A quick flash from my handy everburning matchstick and I’m sucking down my first pleasant breath since entering this damned, damp, miserable place. Shadows in the corner of my eye, but the underbrush is quiet, too quiet.

*THOCK*

...

First I notice the pain, lancing through the back of my head. Then I open my eyes and notice the dark, it’s not daylight anymore. The muted rustle of leaves tells me that I’m not outside either. I’m on my back and the bastards have tied up my wings, just how smart is this squirrel? I lay still for a few minutes to get my bearings. The scent of sap and moss tells me I’m in a tree, probably a hollowed tree trunk. I can’t hear any vermin nearby so they must think I’m down for the count. I figure now is as good a time as any for my get-out-of-jail-free card. I Mage Hand the vines off my wings with a wiggle of my claw and push myself upright, bloody handy little talent, if I do say so myself.

Sneaking to the entrance I can see firelight, the impish flicker of orange across the boughs nearby. A loud voice starts up just as I peer out but it's not directed at me, rather the host of forest creatures below my vantage point. I spy what must be Nutsy and he's hollering himself hoarse about Hell, or is it Hel, and some growing pestilence in the forest. I briefly hope it's just a mad sermon, but the glint in his beady little eye tells me he's swallowed his own line. I hear him mention sacrifices to the tree lord, what tree lord? If there was any doubt left in my mind it drains away when he instructs his pack to gut the prisoner (me!) and fill me with the acorns they had gathered. Taking my cue, I hop out to the nearest branch and take off. None of the vermin are looking up and the darkness gives me all the cover I need to do a quick scouting loop and plan my approach. A flash of colour from the darkness is all they see, and I'm gone. I spit out the beakful of fur and throat, giving the forest back it's own before I return to town.

A quick splash in the castle bath, it wouldn't do to turn up in front of Haku covered in blood for the second day in a row. He might start asking questions, and I'm not prepared to answer them just yet. A silent nightcap or three and it's back to the rafters to sleep away the headache, who the hell throws an acorn anyhow? A tree lord, desecrated corpses and more, there'll be no respite from the visions tonight after what I heard and saw.