Halliman's Diary


Though I was only a small boy at the time, I will never forget the night of that storm.  I’d spent most of my 6 years on my family’s merchant ships but the storm was like nothing I’d seen before, or since, and to this day it astounds me that something so ferocious could spring so suddenly from the patterns of nature without forewarning or precedent.

It started with winds that threw us far off course, grew to swelling seas that rose around the small boat like mountains of brine and ended with us dashing against unseen rocks, somewhere far off anywhere charted on my parents’ many maps.  The cycles of life turn always and for all those aboard the ship except for me their part in the cycle as living, breathing beings came to an end. 

When the tribespeople found me washed up on that beach they said it was the will of Jah that I should serve them through the forces of nature, and while I don’t agree with the way they attribute such mundane human motives to the forces of nature that rule us I believe the events of that night had always been my destiny.  However I was not the only one on that island (a place called Jamaica that I’d never heard of before and that I still have trouble locating on a map) whose destiny was shaped that night.

A girl was born into the tribe as my family died, a girl with vivid blue eyes, despite everyone else in the tribe having skin and eyes as dark as fertile jungle soil.  Grand Matron Guintalla said that the power of the storm had gone into this girl, and like me she was favoured by Jah to wield the power of nature.  They started training me in the ways of the druid and from as soon as the girl, whom they named Kruin, was able to speak they gave the same training to her.

It became quickly apparent that while the storm had given her the power to manipulate elemental forces, its unexpected and unpredictable nature had also become a part of her.  I know Guintalla found teaching her hard, with her tendency to violent outbursts and frustratingly short attention span, but she persisted over the years, feeling that it was the will of Jah that she continue.

I can’t remember when it became assumed that Kruin and I would one day be married.  Into her adolescence she became all the more unpredictable and I can only wonder now if the tribe became so keen to marry her to me in order to make controlling her my responsibility and to leave the rest of them in peace.  She’d taken to carrying around a large wooden staff into which she’d carved the words ‘hitting stik’ and would thump anything that angered her, which could be anything or anyone.  After dozens of run ins with the end of the stick I often wondered whether it might be better to meet one of her jolts of lighting instead.

Despite my misgivings it was my destiny to marry her and 16 years to the day of the fateful storm that bought us both to the island we were united.  Our first night as husband and wife was not what I had been led to expect and by the time I fled our hut I had the letters ‘ittin’ permanently embossed onto my upper arm and to this day have not managed to have them removed through healing.  This set the tone for the next two years of our married life.

Things changed one day when a group of pirates arrived on our island.  While my early years as a child of merchant sailors had taught me to despise pirates the people of the tribe, my people, were rather ambivalent to them, often trading with them for things that couldn’t be produced on our island and giving them safe harbour when it was requested.  This group contained a particularly obnoxious young fellow named Guilliame, who wore an outrageous blue coat and overly fancy trousers that must have been stolen from some decadent noble somewhere and seemed to me to be a complete waste of so much good cotton and wool. 

Kruin sadly took an interest in him at once and each night they remained she returned to our hut later and later, smelling of rum when she did and leading me to fear that our she may have compromised our marriage.  The night before the pirates were due to leave she failed to return at all.  I rose with the dawn furious, having not slept at all.  I completed my daily meditations in the uncharacteristic silence of our hut then marched out wanting to give my cheating wife and this wretched villain a peace of my mind. 

Sadly I was too late.  The pirates had gone during the night and Kruin with them, all that remained was the corpse of Guilliame, stripped of his gaudy blue jacket and pants.  What happened between him and my wife that drove her to kill him, and why his comrades allowed her to leave with them, seemingly in peace, I do not know.  All I do know is that Kruin was gravely mistaken to leave our home, and her destiny, in this way.  I vowed to find her and took passage on the next ship that passed by. 

I returned to the lands where I was born as a grown man (and found that no one seemed to have ever heard of the island of Jamaica, which confused me) and searched high and low for my wife.  My quest took me through strange cities and amazing landscapes and bought me into contact with many mysterious people.

Over the course of a year many people I asked told me stories of someone that could be her but each time they turned out to be false leads.  It was not until I reached the city of Tarrens Junction that people spoke about someone who could be none other than my dear distracted wife.  They spoke of a woman filled with anger, who threw lighting bolts and summoned waves but was cursed with misfortune (the last surely being the effect of her denying her destiny).  It made me sad to hear that she still maintained her uncontrolled ways, but my heart was filled with joy that I would be reunited with her so soon.

I headed to the docks to seek passage to the village of Zelkor’s Ferry, the nearest settlement to the crumbling castle I was told she resided in.  Whilst awaiting a ferry I was approached by a gaudily dressed naval captain who asked me if I’d like to join him in a game of cards whilst his men finished loading their ship.  I don’t usually enjoy things that are left so much to chance but I didn’t want to say no on an auspicious day such as this, so sat down to a game.

As we played I explained to the captain and the others involved the nature of my quest.  “Your wife is Kruin, of the Great Downwards Engineering Company?” he asked.  “Why yes” said I, “do you know her?”  “Know her?  We fought side by side in the fight against one of the most vicious pirates of these waters!”

My heart leapt.  I’d heard she’d joined an adventuring party, but I’d also heard they were mostly just interested in plundering gold from underground ruins.  Was she truly fighting pirates?  Perhaps she had learned inner calm and had dedicated her energy to pursuing some noble cause after all.  But then the captain continued to speak.

“Most disturbing fight I ever had, that one.”  He said.  “I was sure I’d dealt the blackguard a killing blow and his body had crumbled on the ground, but then out of nowhere I felt a blow that turned the whole world red, then black.  Turns out I died somehow and it was only by the good graces of my employers that I’m sitting hear to tell the tale.”  He lifted up his shirt to show me the pink scar that bisected his body from left shoulder to right hip.  “Weirdest thing about it was this looks like a wound from some kind of great big axe, and the pirate didn’t even have an axe.  Only person with an axe was…”

As his unfinished sentence settled awkwardly on my brain I finally saw the clarity that had eluded me so long.  Kruin was never going to meet her destiny, was never going to get her passions under control and was never going to be the steward of nature or the loving wife that she’d never wanted to be anyway.  I didn’t board the boat to Zelkors Ferry, instead getting passage to as near as anyone was going to where I guessed Jamaica.  My destiny was my own and I was best without Kruin making a mess of it.

Halliman

Snookums and the Holiest of Holies

The Gospel According to Snookums:

1 Verily was the queue for mine judgement long, as I deserveth. For I hath failed the Lord my God. 2Behind me lurketh the ghost of mine fallen foe. 3I rejoiced that mine companions hath triumphed.

2 Then appeareth unto me a Spectre of Life just passed. 2This ghost spake unto me "d'you wanna meet your god?" 3At first I resisted, suspecting Tempations of the Dark Ones. 4He saith again "c'mon, I'm taking you back anyway, just drop in and meet him first!" 5In my soul I knew this ghost meant not to mislead me, so I went.

3 Appeareth I did in the House of mine Lord. 2Surprise across Thine visage, mine Lord! Wer't Thou not expecting me? 3He spaketh unto me. The Heavens trembling at His powerful utterance "Um.... Hello?" 4I trembled, afear of mine Lord. Not sure of what to say I merely repeated Thine greeting. 5The Lord saith "Are you doing a great work, or something? Why are you here?" 6I fell silent before saying that a Spectre of Life had brought me here. 7The Lord replied "Oh right, Wizards. Those guys are weird." 8Verily they are, mine Lord.

4 It was at this time I noticed that he was alone, and consuming the fruit of the Hop. 2He saith: "Yeah, I don't much care for company. I usually only appear in front of crowds, not personal visits." 3"Do you have any, uh, questions for me before you go?" 4My Lord I hath so recently been deceased, I knew not what to ask of Thee. Upon mine mind was the Thaurissians of old, so I asked for thine wisdom. 5The Lord replied "The Thaurissians were a group of dwarves that lived 10,000 years ago. (6) They were a good sort, shame to see them go."

5 I could feel. I felt the Spectre returning for me. 2In a moment of selfishness, I asked if I had served mine God well. 3He looked briefly confused and spake unto me "Have you done anything in particular?" 4I said unto My Lord, my companions and I hath vanquished the Great Demon Azirax. 5He pondered and prompty spake "Oh. Right. That. Well, a solid B+ effort there."

6 A great weight lifted from my shoulders, and presently I could feel my life returning. 2He spake “I see you’re about to head back. Well then, take this and do something Good with your life!” 3And ye did He delivereth unto me a large nugget of Mithril ore, His most valued of metals. 4Oh bounteous joy! For mine Lord, I will bring Demons low and tear evil asunder. 5For mine is His power and glory to wield, 6I carry His name forth into the world once more.