on the countless feeble gods

My name?  It’s Father Bog Brew if you really want ask.

A funny name?  No, it makes plenty of sense I live in a swamp, I make potions and…well I guess the father part is kind of metaphorical.  And I guess I don’t live in a swamp either, I live in the fields outside that little town, and now I’m going to go live on that island over there for a bit.  But still, should be bloody obvious.

Why am I so angry all the time?  How else you gonna make the gods do what you want?

Oh, your bein just like one of them aren’t you, going to tell me that we don’t tell the gods what to do, that it’s the other way around?  Well, I don’t do what the gods tell me to do and neither do you, why would I obey such a bunch of weaklings?

Oh yeah, ‘the gods aren’t weaklings, they’re the most powerful beings in the mulitiverse’.  Give it a rest, if they’re so powerful why do they need people that the crow mayor to do their work for them.  The gods are tiny and weak and and you gotta put them in their place.  No point getting down on your knees and begging, you gotta command the bastards, that’s why I’m angry, gotta keep a temper up to get them to listen.

Ok, I’ll cut you off there.  Yes, the gods created the world, and yes, they control it.  But there’s millions of the little suckers, and they can only control a tiny part each, and they’re not clever enough to communicate without other and work out what they’re doing.  The gods created us, but they did it blindly, slightly fiddling with the form of each new bub in its mother womb or egg or cytoplasm cocoon cause unborn babies were the only ones weak enough to fiddle with.

But still, they could never agree on what they wanted to do, they made changes each generation, but most of them were frigging useless. And they didn’t plan ahead. They spent millions of years shaping the ancestors of dragons and they covered the whole world, but they didn’t think to make them immune to lava after a bunch of other ones threw a big rock at the world and set off a load of volcanoes.  Maybe they learned to make dragons fire proof after that, but that’s one little example.

No, eventually through fiddling around blindly they made the sentient creatures of the world, and we had something they don’t – smarts!  We can talk, we can plan, we now make the world, and the countless feeble gods need to shut up and take a back seat.  They can do something useful if you tell them what to do, and that’s what I do.

No, I’m not a frigging druid, you sound just like every druid I’ve met asking that question.  They command the gods alright, but they do it by worshipping nature, which is stupid cause nature isn’t a thing.  The thing we call nature is the collective, blind, uncoordinated actions of all the gods working to their own mindless agenda, changing minute by minute.  Sometimes by chance a whole lot of them decide to make wind and rain at the same time and there’s a big storm, but most of the time as many are trying to make it rain as are trying to make it…sun…so it all stays in balance.

Don’t waste your time praying kid, the gods wont understand, and even if they did they couldn’t do anything.  All they understand is force. They don’t have minds, or forms or names, they created us and now they have nothing left to do but obey.

All bow down to us, countless feeble gods!